Word Meanings
Word Meaning Contest
The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to
supply alternate meanings for various words.
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The following were some of the winning entries:
1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
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2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
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3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
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4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
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5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
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6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightie.
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7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
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8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
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9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run
over by a steamroller.
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10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
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11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
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12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist
immediately before he examines you.
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13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish
expressions.
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14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
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15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up
on the roof and gets stuck there.
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16. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist
