Questions

6TH GRADE ANSWERS DURING A HISTORY TEST:


1. IT WAS AN AGE OF GREAT INVENTIONS AND DISCOVERIES. GUTENBERG INVENTED
REMOVABLE TYPE AND THE BIBLE. ANOTHER IMPORTANT INVENTION WAS THE
CIRCULATION OF BLOOD. SIR WALTER RALEIGH IS A HISTORICAL FIGURE BECAUSE HE
INVENTED CIGARETTES AND STARTED SMOKING. SIR FRANCIS DRAKE CIRCUMCISED THE
WORLD WITH A 100 FOOT CLIPPER.

2. THE GREATEST WRITER OF THE RENAISSANCE WAS WM.  SHAKESPEARE. HE WAS BORN
IN THE YEAR 1564, SUPPOSEDLY ON HIS BIRTHDAY. HE NEVER MADE MUCH MONEY AND
IS FAMOUS ONLY BECAUSE OF HIS PLAYS. HE WROTE TRAGEDIES, COMEDIES AND
HYSTERECTOMIES, ALL IN ISLAMIC PENTAMETER. ROMEO AND JULIET ARE AN EXAMPLE
OF A HEROIC COUPLE. ROMEO'S LAST WISH WAS TO BE  LAID BY JULIET.

3. WRITING AT THE SAME TIME AS SHAKESPEARE WAS MIGUEL CERVANTES. HE WROTE
DONKEY HOTE. THE NEXT GREAT AUTHOR WAS JOHN MILTON. MILTON WROTE PARADISE
LOST. THEN HIS WIFE DIED AND WROTE PARADISE REGAINED.

4. DELEGATES FROM THE ORIGINAL 13 STATES FORMED THE CONTENTED CONGRESS.
THOMAS JEFFERSON, A VIRGIN, AND BEN FRANKLIN WERE TWO SINGERS OF THE
DECLARATION OF INDEPENENCE. FRANKLIN DISCOVERED ELECTRICITY BY RUBBING TWO
CATS BACKWARD AND DECLARED."A HORSE DIVIDED AGAINST ITSELF CANNOT STAND."
FRANKLIN DIED IN 1790 AND IS STILL DEAD.


5. ABE LINCOLN, AMERICA'S GREATEST PRECEDENT. LINCOLN'S MOTHER DIED IN
INFANCE, AND HE WAS BORN IN A LOG CABIN, WHICH HE BUILT WITH HIS OWN HANDS.
ABE LINCOLN FREED THE SLAVES BY SIGNING THE EMASCULATION PROCLAMATION. ON
THE NIGHT OF APRIL 14, 1865, HE WENT TO THE THEATER AND GOT SHOT IN HIS SEAT
BY ONE OF THE ACTORS IN A MOVING PICTURE SHOW. THEY BELIEVE THE ASSINTOR WAS
JOHN WILKES BOOTH, A SUPPOSINGLY INSANE ACTOR. THIS RUINED BOOTH'S CAREER.

6. JOHANN BACH WROTE A GREAT MANY MUSICAL COMPOSITIONS AND HAD A LARGE
NUMBER OF CHILDRE.N. IN BETWEEN HE PRACTICED ON AN OLD SPINSTER WHICH HE
KEPT UP IN HIS ATTIC. BACH DIED FROM 1750 TO THE PRESENT. BACH WAS THE MOST
FAMOUS COMPOSER IN THE WORLD AND SO WAS HANDEL. HANDEL WAS HALF GERMAN, HALF
ITALIAN AND HALF ENGLISH. HE WAS VERY LARGE.

7. BEETHOVEN WROTE MUSIC EVEN THOUGH HE WAS DEAF. HE WAS SO DEAF HE WROTE
LOUD MUSIC. HE TOOK LONG WALKS IN THE FOREST EVEN WHEN EVERYONE WAS CALLING
FOR HIM. BEETHOVEN EXPIRED IN 1827 AND LATER DIED FOR THIS.

8. THE 19TH CENTURY WAS A TIME OF GREAT MANY THOUGHTS AND INVENTIONS. PEOPLE
STOPPED REPRODUCING BY HAND AND STARTED REPRODUCING BY MACHINE. THE
INVENTION OF THE STEAMBOAT CAUSED A NETWORK OF RIVERS TO SPRING UP.CYRUS
MCCORMICK INVENTED THE MCCORMICK RAPER, WHICH DID THE WORK OF A 100 MEN.
LOUIS PASTEUR DISCOVERED A CURE FOR RABBITS. CHARLES DARWIN WAS A NATURALIST
WHO WROTE THE ORGAN OF THE SPECIES. MADMAN CURIE DISCOVERED THE RADIO
AND KARL MARX BECAME ONE OF THE MARX BROTHERS.

9.ANCIENT EGYPT WAS INHABITED BY MUMMIES AND THEY ALL WROTE IN HYDRAULICS.
THEY LIVED IN THE SARAH DESSERT. THEY CLIMATE OF THE SARAH IS SUCH THATALL
THE INHABITANTS HAVE TO LIVE ELSEWHERE.

10. MOSES LED THE HEBREW SLAVES TO THE  RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVED
BREAD, WHICH IS BREAD MADE WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENT. MOSES WENT UP ON MOUNT
CYANIDE TO THE 10 COMMANDMENTS. HE DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA.

11. SOLOMON HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.

12. THE GREEKS WERE A HIGHLY SCULPTURED PEOPLE AND WITHOUT THEM WE WOULD
NOT HAVE HISTORY. THE GREEKS ALSO HAD MYTHS. A MYTH IS A FEMALE MOTH.

13. SOCRATES WAS A FAMOUS GREEK TEACHER WHO WENT AROUND GIVING PEOPLE
ADVICE. THEY KILLED HIM. SOCRATES DIED FROM AN OVERDOSE OF WEDLOCK.
AFTER HIS DEATH, HIS CAREER SUFFERED A DRAMATIC DECLINE.

14. IN THE OLYMPIC GAMES, GREEKS RAN RACES, JUMPED, HURLED BISCUITS AND
THREW THE JAVA.

15.JULIUS CAESAR EXTINGUISHED HIMSELF ON THE BATTLEFIELDS OF GAUL. THE
IDES OF MARCH MURDERED HIM BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO BE MADE
KING.
DYING HE GASPED OUT,"TEE HEE BRUTUS

16. JOAN OF ARC WAS BURNT TO A STEAK AND WAS CANONIZED BY BERNARD SHAW.

17. QUEEN ELIZABETH WAS THE "VIRGIN QUEEN". AS A QUEEN SHE WAS A SUCCESS.
WHEN SHE EXPOSED HERSELF BEFORE HER TROOPS THEY ALL SHOUTED "HURRAH".