Idiot Sightings

   I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the  local
   township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer  Crossing
   sign on our road. The reason: many deer were being hit by cars and he  no
   longer wanted them to cross there.
   My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked  the
   individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was  sorry,
   but they only had iceberg.
   I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport  employee
   asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your  knowledge?" I
   said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled  and
   nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."
   The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the  street. I
   was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine, when  she
   asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals   to
   blind people when the light is red. She responded, appalled, "Why on earth
   are blind people driving?"
   At a sad good-bye lunch for an old and dear coworker who was leaving  the
   company due to "downsizing," our manager spoke up and said, "This is  fun
   We should have lunch like this more often." Not another word was spoken.  We
   just looked at each other like deer staring into the headlights of an 
   approaching truck.
   I worked with an individual who plugged her power strip back into  itself
   and for the life of her could not understand why her system would not turn  on.
   When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up  our
   car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. We 
   went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to 
   unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger's side, I  
   instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open. "Hey,"  I  
   announced to the technician, "It's open!" "I know," answered the young  man. 
   "I already got that side."

There, now, don't you feel better?